Birmingham Motorshow 2000 special

Make/Model		Paper Bag Rating* and Comments
Daimler Crysler - Smart
		It seems likely that the name 'smart' represents the 'smarting' sensation one feels after paying good money for one of these plastic disasters. The car shown has suffered a 65km/h head-on crash, which initially seems rather good, but what the manufacturer failed to mention was that it was a 65km/h crash into a swimming pool full of marshmallows.
Morgan Aero 8
		In order to reduce their long waiting lists, Morgan had the choice of either increasing supply or reducing demand. They chose the latter. The Morgan 8 is actually a normal Morgan with a Max Power style body kit (available via mail order). Sadly on this show car the front wings were mounted incorrectly hence the goofy looks.
Chrysler PT Cruiser
		Formed by the seamless bonding of a hearse and a large air conditioning unit, the PT Cruiser makes perfect sense after 10 pints. (Uglycars specifically excludes all American cars through lack of server space, however this car is unfortunately on sale in the UK).
Daihatsu - Naked
		Naked! - thought that would get your attention - it's actually the name of this car which looks like a sort of cross between a Fiat Panda and a Hummer. Fortunately I am not naked in this photo, but sporting a trendy Uglycar t-shirt (not available in shops)
Hyundai - Amica
		In order to make this car look appealing to more than 3 people, Hyundai decided to select a show car painted in a beautiful metallic colour... err, no they didn't did they...
Renault - Laguna 2
		Well the original Laguna, in its estate form is featured elswhere on this site, now however, Renault have spent much time and effort on re-styling the rear of the new model - sadly they forgot all about the front and ended up asking a sheet-metal worker called Ken to knock together something for the front using a tin of pilchards and a crowbar. Nice.
Corbin - Sparrow
		My favourite at the show - the Corbin Sparrow - they actually bill this as "The Ruler of the City Streets" - I think they must be referring to the city of Ulan Bator in outer Mongolia. Fortunately for passengers worldwide, there is no room for one (a passenger, that is).
Cadillac - ****
		Styled by an ESN amoeba with a bad case of dandruff, this car is Cadillac's attempt to take a chunk of the UK executive saloon sector from Audi, BMW and Mercedes. I don't think so.
Honda - Insight
		Well hats off to Honda for saving the planet - but was it really necessary to board up the rear wheels in order to get an extra 0.5 mpg?
Renault - Initiale
		Whilst most manufacturers try to maximise internal space for the occupants, Renault have bucked the trend with the Initiale and have actually tried to minimise internal space. Hence a stupid pointed rear window and centrally mounted 300 gallon fuel tank.
Renault - Avantime
		Clever use of a recycled bus shelter has allowed Renault to sell these contraptions for £17.95 at selected wine merchants and still make a profit of 83% on each one.
Well that'll do for the moment - there were more cars that we could have included here, such as the new Impreza with headlights taken from the old Corolla, the Ford 24-7 concept thing and the Fiat Doblo - or is that Diablo?... Back to the main page

* Paper bag rating - The number of paper bags you would need to wear on your head in order to agree to accept a lift in the car.

Disclaimer - Please bear in mind when viewing this page that virtually everything written here is totally made up and highly inaccurate.