| More mangled
metal... |
Paper
Bag Rating* |
| Ford
Scorpio |
 |
 |
Lets face
it, the Scorpio has what it takes to be at the top of the list.
Rumour has it that this car was originally penned by Ford's
marine department as a new type of mini-submarine designed for
use in deep places where no-one would see. However, due to a
file naming error on the companywide computer network, it was
mistaken as a new car concept sketch and thus became the company's
automotive flagship. Prior to being taken out of production
in 1997 dealer discounts on this car were so large that a 'top
of the range' model (ie; big sloppy seats) could be had for
the same price as a cheap fitted kitchen. Or so I've heard. |
| Hyundai
ATOZ |
|
 |
When you see
one of these things you get the distinct impression that if
there was a gust of wind it would simply fall over. It's rather
narrow you see. In fact Hyundai would have made it even narrower
were it not for a British legal requirement which states that
a car must be wider than a standard rear number plate. Even
Postman Pat wouldn't drive one of these. |
| Suzuki
Wagon R+ |
|
 |
Yep, that's
me (Mark). You see we take our Uglycar spotting very seriously
indeed and there's nothing to beat a close up inspection. Actually
Suzuki have tried really hard to improve the 'Wagon' and have
now fitted a radio; pity the few quid it cost couldn't have
been spent on the styling; it would have gone a long way. |
| Toyota
Space Cruiser |
|
 |
Ha, ha! Not
only did these early Japanese people carriers look terrible,
but they also drove terribly as well. The owner of this one
for example is in the process of converting it into a large
storage container for tennis balls, because that is the best
thing you can do with them. Actually the Previa isn't much better...I'd
better include it next time. (Sorry about the rubbish picture,
it's all I could find; They aren't photographed very often). |
| Peugeot
806 |
|
 |
Peugeot have
a reputation for designing some inspiring vehicles, but as can
be seen clearly, even they have their off days. The 806 may
carry many people, but lets face it, even a 1976 Ford Transit
looks more stylish. |
| BMW
Z3 Coupé |
|
 |
A good example
of how a beautiful soft top can be wrecked completely. Why did
BMW do it? Well, apparently, one of the German designers at
BMW actually liked the old British Scimitar GTE so he decided
to try and do something similar with the Z3. As you can see
the project went remarkably well and now BMW too have a ridiculous
sports coupe that few people will buy. |
| Dax
Kamala |
|
 |
You may never
see one of these things. It's a sort of bizarre cross between
a Lotus Elan (thats the back bit you can't really see here)
and a duck billed platypus (thats the front bit). The rear section
is built in Tipton and the front in Malta. Destined to sell
in single numbers.....
(according to several e-mails from Finland, 'Kamala' happens
to mean 'hideous' in Finnish!) |
| New
Toyota Corolla |
|
 |
Since this
photo was taken, Toyota have replaced the headlights on the
Corolla with a more sensible and less offensive design. However
to offset their losses they sold all the remaining stock of
silly headlights to a garden centre in Lyme Regis where they
are now sold as illumination for ornamental fish ponds. |
| Toyota
Yaris Verso |
|
 |
A midnight
brainstorming session at a transgenic monkey laboratory came
up with a bunch of irrational ideas that sparked the Verso concept.
Very few (in fact none) of the original ideas made it through
to production but in honour of the forgotten workers that initiated
the project Toyota will actually discount cars sold for the
purposes of animal conservation. NB: this may not be entirely
true. |
| Jensen
S-V8 |
|
 |
That front
grille really wasn't a good idea now was it? Shame because the
rest of it is actually quite nice...although it's anyone's guess
where you're supposed to fit your front number plate. |
