The Ugliest Cars in Britain

Some more awful autos...

Paper Bag Rating*

Frogeye Sprite

Thanks to Chris Nevard for the pic.

The family in this picture look horrified as their industrial-strength pager bags have just blown off revealing their true identities. Austin Healey didn't realise that when you create a car with lights this silly they are supposed to be attached to a pop-up mechanism so that they remain hidden during daylight.

NSU 1000

The name NSU actually comes from the initials of the German for "Neckarsulm Knitting-Machine Union" - no surprise there. This NSU was based on a combination of a septic tank and a cheese sandwich.

Morris Marina

Another nail in the coffin of British Leyland. It looked about as appealing as a snog with Thora Hird. Later they changed its name to the Ital and tried to convince us that it was a different car - I wonder why that didn't work?

Triumph TR7

This sad Triumph pseudo-sportscar is known as "The Wedge" - whoever was in charge of the project should have been given a wedgie. The coupe looked so bad that it was decided to cut the whole top off and sell it as a convertible instead. They should have stuck with the TR6.

Citroen BX

They say that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would eventually come up with the entire works of Shakespeare. Citroen decided to try this technique with six monkeys and a bag of meccano. The BX took them 12 minutes to make (including a 2 minute banana break).

Daihatsu Sirion

Perhaps this photo is quite flattering, but believe me, in the flesh the Sirion looks extremely unpleasant. It is rumored that BMW are quite worried about the new Sirion. Not as a direct threat to sales, but if it does become successful there will almost certainly be a world chromium shortage.

Fiat Multipla

Well what can we say? Fiat have obviously produced this car especially to star on these pages - and we thank them for that.
Combine the worst elements from a lavatory cistern, a banjo and a dead poodle and you would get something similar to the Multipla.

Isetta Bubble Car

Isetta
Thanks to "VegaSFII" for the pic.

Going for a ride in one of these has all the appeal of going on a dinner date with Joseph Stalin. Worse still, if you parked up against a wall you couldn't get out of the thing.

Talbot Tagora

Thanks to Jon Godfrey for this pc.

The Tagora made a fleeting appearance back in the very early eighties - Brought to you by Peugeot, who owned the Talbot (formerly Simca) marque. This was actually quite a massive barge by UK standards and shortly after production was ended, twelve Tagoras from the last production run were stacked on top of each other to form a block of council flats in central Birmingham.

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* Paper Bag Rating:

The number of paper bags you would have to wear on your head before accepting a ride in the car.

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