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conveyance Paper Bag Rating*
Citroen :  C4 Cactus paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic When you buy a new car the dealer will often throw in a set of floor mats for you. In the case of the Citroen Cactus they apparently glue them to the doors. They are obviously intended to protect the doors from everyday mishaps, but I'm not sure what would look worse: a few dings or a rubber mat peeling off your door.
 
Chevrolet :  Orlando paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic Orlando Bloom is a handsome English actor. The Chevrolet Orlando is not English, not handsome, and was not in The Lord of the Rings. The city of Orlando in Florida isn't really good looking, but you can have a whole load of fun in it. The Chevy Orlando also isn't very good looking, but I can't imagine you'd be smiling in it unless you filled the cabin with nitrous oxide and ice cream.
 
Dodge :  Avenger paper bag paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic Dodge seem to have achieved the impossible with the Avenger and taken the name of a 1970s Hillman whilst basing the design of the front end on a 1970s 4-bar electric fire you'd find in a council estate in Skegness.
 
Renault :  Wind paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic This is a funny little convertible thing from Renault. We'll skip the obvious references to passing gas and move on to saying that a tramp from Aberdeen remarked that it looked rather like a partially-sucked toffee. Whether that's true or not I don't know - but it does look better with the roof down - mainly because there is then less of the car to look at.
 
Peugeot :  1007 paper bag paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic The 1007 was conceived as a convenient way of shifting a pair of heavy doors from A to B, and it works remarkably well for this purpose. In 2005 three of these cars succesfully carried 6 heavy doors to John O Groats where the owners then had a cup of tea and took some photos.
 
BMW :  5 GT paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic The 5GT is billed as being 'the first of its kind' - we suspect it may actually be the 'last of its kind'. It's fairly obvious really - if you want a load of stuff shifting around, you shouldn't use your executive motor, you should get someone else to do it for you.
 
Microcar :  MC2 paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic The 'microcar' is not actually micro at all, in fact it is roughly the same size as most other small cars. Ie. about the same size as the torso of an elephant.
 
Nissan :  Juke paper bag paper bag paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic Before viewing the Nissan Juke it is essential to re-align your brain's interpretation of the visual stumuli being fed to it by staring at this web page for 30 seconds before viewing the full sized picture on the left (click on the pic). Otherwise the Juke will appear to resemble a giant fetid jelly being sucked into a trans-dimensional vortex. Or something.
click on pic for bigger  
Mitsubishi :  Grandis paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic People carriers don't have to look inferior to regular cars, but thankfully for Mitsubishi it does help to sell them.
 
Ssangyong :  Korando paper bag paper bag paper bag
uglycar pic Daytime running lamps are perhaps the latest pointless fad amongst premium car makers, but the Korando started it all by having side lights that were 3 times more powerful than the main headlamps. Brilliant for visibility but the amount of mosquitos attracted into the car ventilation system frequently left owners with an itchy issue. A recall of all 7 vehicles in the country failed to resolve the problem in 1994.
 


*Paper Bag Rating - The number of paper bags you would have to wear on your head before accepting a ride in the car.

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