| Conveyance (click pics for bigger image): |
Paper Bag Rating* |
| Renault : Wind |
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This is a funny little convertible thing from Renault. We'll skip the obvious references to passing gas and move on to saying that a tramp from Aberdeen remarked that it looked rather like a partially-sucked toffee. Whether that's true or not I don't know - but it does look better with the roof down - mainly because there is then less of the car to look at. |
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| Peugeot : 1007 |
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The 1007 was conceived as a convenient way of shifting a pair of heavy doors from A to B, and it works remarkably well for this purpose. In 2005 three of these cars succesfully carried 6 heavy doors to John O Groats where the owners then had a cup of tea and took some photos. |
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| BMW : 5 GT |
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The 5GT is billed as being 'the first of its kind' - we suspect it may actually be the 'last of its kind'. It's fairly obvious really - if you want a load of stuff shifting around, you shouldn't use your executive motor, you should get someone else to do it for you. |
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| Microcar : MC2 |
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The 'microcar' is not actually micro at all, in fact it is roughly the same size as most other small cars. Ie. about the same size as the torso of an elephant. |
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| Nissan : Juke |
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Before viewing the Nissan Juke it is essential to re-align your brain's interpretation of the visual stumuli being fed to it by staring at this web page for 30 seconds before viewing the full sized picture on the left (click on the pic). Otherwise the Juke will appear to resemble a giant fetid jelly being sucked into a trans-dimensional vortex. Or something. |
| click on pic for bigger |
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| Mitsubishi : Grandis |
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People carriers don't have to look inferior to regular cars, but thankfully for Mitsubishi it does help to sell them. |
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| Ssangyong : Korando |
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Daytime running lamps are perhaps the latest pointless fad amongst premium car makers, but the Korando started it all by having side lights that were 3 times more powerful than the main headlamps. Brilliant for visibility but the amount of mosquitos attracted into the car ventilation system frequently left owners with an itchy issue. A recall of all 7 vehicles in the country failed to resolve the problem in 1994. |
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| Fiat : Doblo |
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It often gets overlooked, but remarkably the Doblo achieved a number of automotive firsts. For example it is documented that the Doblo makes an excellent greenhouse and uses more recycled wheelie-bin than any other similarly priced car. Did you also know that the rear windscreen wiper makes a full 360 degree rotation in order that the rear number plate and boot handle can be cleaned effectively. Patent pending. |
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| BMW : 3 Series Compact |
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Launching the BMW 1-series directly to an unsuspecting public would have been considered poor form and could have been frankly dangerous, so in 2001 BMW prepared us all by launching the only slightly offensive 3-series compact mk2. |
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| Dodge : Caliber |
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As an experiment (during the commissioning phase obviously) a large dog biscuit box and a 1980s calculator were placed into the large hadron collider. The mangled, multi-dimensional result did not actually resemble the Caliber, but it has provided a suitable caption for this picture.
A great car to buy if you want to intimidate your neighbours without resorting to physical violence. |
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